05 December 2007

Those Pesky Single People

Do the pitying looks no longer properly motivate the future spinster? Do the condescending "we just want you to be happy"s no longer get suitably enthusiastic agreement from the creepy bachelor uncle? Does "be fruitful and multiply" not motivate your secular single friends? Well, now you have another way to intrude yourself into that single person's life and lay on the guilt: single people are unecological!


Chuck said...

Pig. Fuckers.

Chris Weimer said...

Ah, but you're actually improving the environment by staying single! In deed, cohabitation has a higher rate of offspring multiplication, thus creating more people to wreck the environment. But if everyone stayed single, population growth would decrease. ;)

Wm said...

In my own case the chance of cohabitation leading to offspring is astronomically unlikely. The Earth gets that favor from me no matter what my living arrangements.

Wm said...

Ooh! Here's a new literary subgenre mashup waiting to be born!

In the late 70s and through the 80s it was a hilariously common trope of gay or lesbian sci-fi to have a brief first chapter explaining how all the women (or men) died off. Once that's out of the way you can move on to your utopia or whatever.

Not content to leave the lurid sadism of the Apocalypse to the Left Behind crowd, environmental disaster books have become popular with anxious and guilty liberals (see Swarm — actually, don't).

These two genres could be combined into a morally improving tale about not making Mother Nature mad or she'll give you the gay.

Elizabeth said...

Live single? You're unecological. Have children? Even worse. Face it: God only loves DINKs.